I set out on a walk on Tuesday evening. My neighbor was out working in his yard, and we struck up a conversation. We talk often, he and his wife have three kids and my daughter sometimes babysits them. They are lovely neighbors.
We somehow got on the topic of health and he shared how tired he is all the time, how he can’t sleep, then he’s too tired to get to the gym. Most nights, his dog wakes him up in the middle of the night because she needs to go out to potty and then he can’t get back to sleep. He will often fall asleep in front of the T.V. only to wake up, learning that somehow he walked to the pantry at some point and ate an entire box of cookies. He’s in such a fog though he doesn’t recall. He’s trying to get to bed by 10 – 10:30 pm and waking up at 4:30 am to get to the gym. He can’t seem to kick his habit of ice cream or wine. Then he said, “is wine okay?” as if with my permission he was going to feel better. I didn’t say yes or no as I absolutely enjoy a glass of wine from time to time. But, as I reflect on our conversation, I really feel bad for him and empathize with his situation.
We continued to talk and I provided some insights/advice for him but what really resonated with me were my takeaways from our conversation.
We are a nation, exhausted. We are living exhausted, unable to sleep, with constant food cravings, and nothing satiates us. We wake up tired and start it all over again the next day, making more poor choices because we cannot navigate ourselves in a sea of fog!
And then, worst of all, we think it’s all our fault. We blame ourselves for not having enough willpower or discipline to make the right choices.
As I continue on my own journey of health and wellness (that’s been ongoing for 35 years), I’m feeling more and more certain that it is not our fault. Our modern age is slowly killing us. We are constantly stimulated with phones, social media, traffic, and computers, our food is designed to make us crave more and more of the food that’s horrible for us. We are overstimulated so much so that when we need to calm down, unwind and rest, our bodies are unable to due to constant, chronic stress levels.
Paul went on to say he knows he’s got to get to the gym. He was trying to get to bed an hour earlier and was literally embarrassed to say he was going to bed at 9-9:30 pm. I think he felt a bit better when I told him that’s about the time I’m in bed. Why should he feel guilty about this? getting up at 4:30 am is early! why aren’t we able to own and feel good about the fact that we feel like we need more sleep -because actually, you do need more, and you need the right amount which is 7-9 hours a night.
He said he should walk more too, but again the negative loop of being so tired and making the wrong food choices, it’s near impossible to get off the couch. There are some things that may not be able to change about Paul’s situation. He’s likely going to keep his kids and the dogs, even the little one that needs to get up in the middle of the night. So what’s someone to do to try and turn their health in a better direction.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I truly believe the first thing someone needs to do is get more AND better sleep. Get to bed. Turn the T.V off, end your night earlier and get more rest. With more sleep, the body will course-correct itself at least somewhat. Your brain will cleanse itself and heal and it needs 7-9 hours to do this. If you get less sleep, you’re short-changing the rinse and rejuvenation that the mind and body need to be healthy. Hormones will self-correct, cortisol comes down, other hormones go up and the body will have the time it needs to do all the corrective measures before the morning.
Once this happens, you will wake up less foggy, dragging, and exhausted. When this happens, you will have more energy to now add in some form of exercise, the gym, a walk, maybe lifting, or yoga. But if you try and add an exercise regimen to an already exhausted body, it’s a recipe for failure. You won’t maintain it. You likely won’t feel better, you’ll possibly feel more exhausted and without the proper sleep and the added stress from exercise, you could get injured. You might also have MORE food cravings because the exercise is only going to make you more hungry if your hormone levels are off from poor sleep. When, you still don’t lose the weight or feel better, or see any results, you stop.
So, what’s the answer? I’m really leaning towards the answer is sleep. This needs to be your first step. It doesn’t have to be your only step, but certainly, it needs some significant attention if you’re going to be successful. Now that I’ve said this though, there is more you should know. Sleep can correct a ton of negative impacts on the body. But not only do you need more sleep, but you also need better quality sleep. I wrote a blog a few months back on sleep but I feel like discussing quality sleep is so incredibly important, I’m going to share some strategies again for better quality sleep.
As Paul and I were talking, I confessed that I too enjoy T.V. at night. It’s sort of a thing with my daughter and I that we watch a show together before bed. She’s a teenager now and it’s one of the few times in the week that we have together and we enjoy watching a Netflix show or movie together. I know the blue light is terrible for my brain at night so I do wear blue-blocking glasses. The science supports that wearing blue-blocking glasses does protect the brain from the blue light and it will not make a mess of your hormones before bed. This is a great investment and well worth the money if you’re going to watch T.V before bed.
Additionally, in order for you to get to bed on time and set yourself up for a quality night’s sleep, you’ve got to put some thought into what you need to sleep well. You wouldn’t go to the gym without your shoes or water bottle, right? sleep is no different and to think you can just pop in bed and get an amazing night’s sleep without some prep is silly.
Do you hear the neighbor getting home at 1 am and the garage going up or the car door closing? If you’re a light sleeper you may need white noise to drown out the sounds that wake you. There are white noise machines you can buy (many choices on amazon.com) there are apps now you can download on your phone and even an old-school fan can work. Experiment with what might work for you.
Eat dinner earlier and stop all food intake ideally 3 hours before bed. If you’re planning to go to bed at 9 pm, then dinner needs to be at 5-5:30 pm so you’re finished by 6 pm. If this sounds impossible, kids are at practices and everyone isn’t even home from work yet, just try and get to this ideal, and if it’s 2 – 2.5 hours before bed that’s still a great improvement. Digestion is work for your body. If you are eating close to bedtime, when you try and go to sleep the body is still in digestive mode and your body will not be able to completely rest. So, plan in advance, prep and make meals earlier, or have leftovers so you’re not eating so late.
I know I mentioned you’d have to make some changes to your routine. I’m sure you didn’t think it would bleed into your daily routine but it’s important to think about how your evening will be set up so you can have overnight success.
I live pretty far north and the sun doesn’t set until about 9:15 pm. I’ve learned to sleep with an eye mask and this had been an absolute game-changer for me. (you can also find these on amazon.com). You need complete darkness for the brain to really drop into quality sleep through the night. I think I learned in Matthew Walker’s book, Why we sleep, that even with your eyes closed if headlights or light comes into your room, it triggers your brain WHILE you’re sleeping and can have a negative impact even though you don’t even wake up. Isn’t that fascinating?! So, the sleep mask is a must and it’s an inexpensive investment for a great night’s sleep.
So far, you’re going to change up your schedule and get to bed earlier. You’re going to eat dinner earlier and not have any snacks before bed. You may use a fan or a sleep mask to get complete darkness. I promise you, you will love this. The complete darkness makes me fall asleep and stay asleep. If you work on this sleep regimen/program (just like your gym regimen/program) you should begin to feel better within a few weeks, possibly sooner. An amazing night’s sleep is going to be your new superpower. Once your body settles into this regimen and has the time to repair itself, you’re going to feel better.
Fast forward 4 weeks and you are sleeping better, you have the energy and stamina to add in some exercise. It’s a beautiful time of year and even though much of the country is really warm, the mornings are often pristine. Throw on some gym clothes and get outside. Even if it’s for just 20 minutes, the morning sunlight and fresh air will do wonders for your health and mindset.
You can also hit the gym, a spin class, or yoga, whatever you feel drawn to, but don’t overdo it. You can elicit a stress response that will throw your body off so take your time finding a workout regimen. If you’ve come this far, you are winning. Shift your mindset and tell yourself how amazing you are by changing habits and living them. We are too hard on ourselves. Give yourself a pt on the back. You deserve it!
I live in a neighborhood and there’s a school nearby with a monkey bar/playground. I’ll often walk the dog but go and do some step-ups on the bench or hang for a minute from the bars…just to stretch and strengthen my upper body. There are plenty of options right outside your door and it’s all free. Explore and find what works for you.
To recap, you are going to think about your sleep regimen. If you don’t have one, begin creating one. Set yourself up for success by thinking about your evening schedule and how you can build your nightly sleep to 7-9 hours. Let me know what’s working for you, or not, and I can share it with others. We need to support one another and get rid of stigmas that you don’t need lots of sleep.
Be well,
Alli